Diary

!!!My dairy is going to be filled with raw and uncensored toughts, feelings and just whatever I've got in my mind(including controversial shit, so buckle up buckaroo). If you don't like it, don't read it, and close my website!!!

5 february 2024
Playing pretend

As you know, nowadays everyone has a computer. Either a laptop, a desktop, a samsung smart fridge.. or maybe all 3. But.. does everyone KNOW what is a computer? What's it made of? How it works? What makes it... a computer? Clearly, the answer is no. You might be wondering why I chose to talk about this subject. Well, earlier this day I met an acquaintance, and we started talking. After I told her a few things about me, in particular my adoration of computers, she said how much she fancies(I'll be using british slang/vocabulary every now and then because that's the english I learned)(and I love it)(anyways I'm derailing) them and whatnot. And I'll tell you, I was pretty shocked? she never seemed the type to like computers or anything.. well I started asking her what she likes about them and you know, questions about software and hardware, hoping I finally found someone that I can sperg with(I do sperg about computers to my best friend but sometimes I feel like she's not interested. I wish she would sperg about them too, but she doesn't seem that interested in them, in the technic part. She said she likes listening to me talk about my interests and passions, which is really sweet ♡ (that's what's frendship about, accepting one another and listening to eachother and of course helping when in need, common interests, values etc) I do sometimes think I annoy her, but that's not the case and I know it but sometimes idiotic thoughts come into my mind saying I annoy her)(lmao I'm deraling again, back on the topic) Her response? "Yea well I just love browsing Facebook on it" Clearly I wanted to do a massive facepalm. Yeah dude you're such a computer expert for browsing Facebook on it. After that incident if we may call it that, I kept wondering, why would she lie about being interested in computers? Just to make me impressed?(you're not making anyone impressed by lying about liking something you don't actually like, just to "fit in").
This was just an example of the main topic I wanted to discuss. Poseurs(also known as posers) - "One who affects a particular attribute, attitude, or identity to impress or influence others." As you know, these people exist in every single community out there. Music, manga, geeky stuff etc. But I'll be focusing on the computer posers. I've met so many people who say they're "interested" in computers, but only liking LED keyboards, retarded LED lighting and more retarded aesthetic shit. And that's about it, they never know anything about them only on the surface level. I'm sorry to break it down to you but just because you have the most AESTHETHICC!!! setup evar it doesn't mean you're a computer geek. Quite the opposite actually(cough cough attention whores). I understand wanting something to be aesthetically pleasing but c'mon... A computer has to be functional not a fucking special effect at an electronic festival. What I noticed is that these people do it for social media attention. They brag about how their kewl-hentai-generic animu girl-LED-desktop is the FASTEST and 5000000 FPS IN FORTNITE?!(and how others don't have such a "neat-looking" setup) on Reddit especially but also on Twitter etc, for, you guessed it, likes and "praises" and whatnot. Narcissism at its finest.
It's clear to me and to people who are actually computer geeks that these people are just some ordinary Joes who try to seem "cool" because lots geek shit has been going mainstream(to a degree though) so there are undoubtedly going to be posers like these(but we'll talk about that another time). The best method to meet likeminded individuals who are ACTUALLY into computers is either at conventions or computer clubs or Universities related to tech, science, engineering etc or even like linguistics, history or expositions or internet meetups from more "niche" places if I can say so.
Listen people, just don't lie about being interested in something if you're not actually passionate about it, or you're not trying to learn/be passionate about it. It's not fun(it's actually maddening and sad) for people who are actually searching for others into the domains/subjects/topics/interests they love so they can both have wonderful conversations about they things they love. Just be yourself. This is it for today, have a great day/night.

8 february 2024
On the creation of my website

I decided I should give everyone reading this a more in-depth reason on why I created this website. First things first, I love web designing and playing with the HTML/CSS code! I might also learn JavaScript one day, but I'm not so sure (EDIT 28.03.2024 : DISREGARD THAT, I'LL NEVER LEARN IT. NEITHER JAVA). I like my HTML the way it is. I've always wanted to create my own website where I can write/share/upload/ whatever my heart wants. As if I'm building my empire. Second, I got tired BEYOND endurance with social networking sites. I did have social media once upon a time, before I decided to delete everything for my own good. And I'll give you the reasons why I did so: toxicity, constant arguments about pointless things, unreal beauty standards, retardation especially about politics and such, genuine retardation that seems to dumben down people especially those who lack critical thinking, narcissism, decrease in attention span(at one point, your dopamine will be fried), people lacking opsec and not knowing what's privacy by documenting EVERYTHING they do for no reason(like taking a shit)(yeah there are people posting pictures of themselves doing this), the danger of grooming and human trafficking as well as scams, clout chasing, the companies owning these platforms harvesting your data(and probably laughing at those posting themselves in awkward position, half naked almost every single day to Instagram), companies making the platform addictable with it's UI system, it can also cause porn addiction, addiction to instant gratification, the whole influencer shit where they promote some shit deemed by them as "high quality" by acting astonished and pleased, but actually the product is low quality(they're famished for ze money), people with absolutely no talent getting famous for... no reason (clearly with the help of bots too but still. Twitter is really a bot central place, it really does prove the dead internet theory). I guess negativity gets the spotlight instead of positivity. And one final thing, bots. lots. of. bots.
After deleting the accounts, I really felt better. Besides feeling more productive and more at peace, I felt like I was truly living. I now just use this website, forums, imageboards and some other websites(which I'll link here). Third reason on the creationg of this website is because I wanted to share to the world my interests and thoughts and maybe befriend some people and talk about everything to nothing to in-between! :> (also, if I make some language mistakes bear with me lel)

14 february 2024
Vidya Gaemz

I watched some interviews with Todd Howard on Fallout 4 and damn I really want to play that game but I've got to finish some other games before starting this one(like Bioshock, Resident Evil 2 Remake and Resident Evil 6). Both RE games are almost finished (for RE2R, I'm doing Claires second run right now and I've got to get the keycard to the garage door)(I really want to get the final ending). Some people said Mr X is more aggressive in the second run but I've barely seen him? Which is quite strange, but I'm not complaining lol. Oh also I have Fallout New Vegas installed and actually played for a while but guess what, my save file got corrupted somehow and was deleted, so I have to start again from the beginning. I didn't do much progress though so it's fine. I also have Portal 1 installed so I'll play that as well after I finish the Portal 2 co-op(I finished the game and my god I loved/(hated in a good way) the plot twist because I love(d?) Wheatley from the beginning

spoiler

(y'know, when he didn't switch to villain mode). I still like him even if he tried to kill me. He's a cutie.

I'll talk another day about the Portal, now back on the interviews, Todd is really charismatic. He's got a nice storytelling voice. He should write nursery rhymes kek.
Forgot to add, I've also been playing ,quite a lot, Hearthstone. It's really fun if you like card games.